Bullshit Mac 'n' Cheese

Are you a lazy fuck that can't always be buggered to go all out when you cook? Sometimes I am too. Here I present a really easy and super lazy way to make some pretty alright macaroni (or whatever pasta you want) and cheese. Check it.

Ingredients:

• Pasta - whatever kind you want and however much you need to serve people
• Butter
• Cheese - any kind really, even that canned parmesan stuff works in a pinch
  
• Salt & Pepper
• Optional: Any extra seasonings, meats, veggies or whatever that you want to chuck into this
  

Directions:

1. Boil salty water in a pot
2. Add the pasta
3. Remove butter from the fridge and slice about a tablespoon (or more if serving more than 2 people) into thin slices
4. Once the pasta is just past al dente, strain it but reserve some of the water
5. Put the pasta into a bowl and add the butter and 2TB of the reserved water
6. Mix until the butter is melted
7. Add the cheese and mix until it melts
8. Adjust by adding more pasta water/cheese (or even butter you fatty) until you get the consistency you want
9. Add in any other crap you want (baked chicken, old bay and garlic powder is a fav of mine)
10. Eat this slop.
11. Don't forget to clean up
12. Later on, hate yourself for being a lazy shit
    

Spicy Pork Tenderloin

I made this yesterday for lunch, and had plenty left over for lunch today as well. It's a pretty simple dish, but there's a good amount of flavors packed into it. I pretty much eyeballed everything, so any measurements are guesstimates.

The Rub

• 1/2-3/4 cups brown sugar
  
• 2 heaping TB paprika
  
• 1 TB cayenne pepper
  
• 3 TB sea or kosher salt
  
• As much ground pepper as you want
  
• 1-2 tsp of garlic powder
  
• A dash of oregano

The Sauce

• 1 can chopped tomatoes
  
• 2 TB whole seed mustard (better if it's extra vinegary)
  
• 1 TB horseradish
  
• 3-5 hearty splashes of Worcestershire sauce
  
• A half yellow squash, cubed (optional)
  

• 2 longish pork tenderloins (or whatever Fresh 'n' Green sold me as pork tenderloin)
  
• Butter and/or oil for frying

Filler:

• Pasta
• or
• Rice

Directions

1. Mix the rub together and apply to the top and bottom of each tenderloin. You can let it sit and marinade, but I didn't feel like waiting this time.
   
2. Heat the pan on med-low and add butter/oil.
   
3. Once it's hot, cook each side for ~5 minutes.
   
4. Remove pork and let sit under tin foil
   
5. Dump the tomatoes in (including the liquid) and stir up all the nice tasty bits of frond.
   
6. Add the rest of the sauce ingredients, stir, and let reduce until it's thick. Then remove from heat.
   
7. Options
• Dice up the pork and return to pan to sit in the sauce
• Slice the pork and serve with the sauce drizzled/dropped over it
8. Filler: Cook some up and add to the dish
   

So yeah, pretty simple and very delicious. The sugar combined with the spices, mustard and horseradish make for a lot of good things happening in your mouth. Enjoy!